Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout
by todd fan
Summary: (Magic Roundabout) Chapter 4 up! - Ermintrude has the opportunity to preform he opera, though her guitarist is less than thrilled.
1. The great guitar fiasco

Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "I hate your guitar. If I'd wanted to share a room with an irritating lump of wood I'd have moved in with an Australian soap star".

* * *

Well, here is a multi-chapter fic for the Magic Roundabout! As the title suggests, this fic will give random short stories, much in the spirit of the old series, in which each episode was 5 minutes long. If you don't know the characters, look it up on the web, or read my fic 'Welcome to the Enchanted Land' (plug alert!), where I introduce the characters and their world. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 1 - The great guitar fiasco

* * *

The Enchanted Land was, as usual, sunny and bright. Birds twittered in the trees, fish swam in the stream

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"

...A certain cow was singing.

"Simply marvelous, Ermintrude", said Brian with a love-struck sigh as Ermintrude made her big finish, "you sound like an angel"

"A fallen angel, you mean", muttered Dylan, resting his guitar against the side of the podieum.

"What was THAT?", asked Ermintrude, rounding on him.

"Nothing", said Dylan, "look, I've got to go err...stuff. Can you watch my guitar until..."

"Yes, yes, fine, just go", said Ermintrude irritably, warming up her voice again, "I do not always need music anyway".

"I bet he's going to steal mushrooms again", muttered Brian as the rabbit left.

"That or sleep", said Ermintrude, "lazy good-for-nothing"

With that, she launched into a new number, with her one and only fan watching happily. During the preformance, Dougal walked up, wincing at the volume.

"Hey, Ermintrude!", he shouted up at her, "will you quit it? You'll make it monsoon!".

Ermintrude stopped her singing, looking at the dog angrily.

"Don't be foolish, Dougal, it never rains here" (1)

"I'm sure you could manage to make it happen", muttered Dougal under his breath.

"Ummmm...Ermintrude", said Brain with a cough, "where has Dylan's guitar gone?"

Ermintrude blinked, turing to where the rabbit had left his beloved instrument.

"It isn't there", she said, then wimpered, "IT ISN'T THERE!'

"What isn't there?", asked Florence, walking up.

"Dylan's guitar!", sobbed Emirntrude.

"I saw a big piece of wood floating down the river as I walked here", mused Dougal, then grinned wickedly, "oh no, it must have been the guitar".

"I lost Dylan's guitar!", squealed Ermintrude, "I was supposed to take care of ti and now it's...it's...IN A RIVER!".

She looked deperately at the group.

"You think he might forgive me?"

Everyone was silent for a long, long time.

"You hope Dylan will forgive you for losing the only item he brought with him from...wherether the heck he came from?", asked Dougal, arching a furry eyebrow, "someone's a little optimistic aren't they?".

"He does have a point, Ermintrude", said Florence, then added, "but I'm sure if you just explain to him..."

"I don't think explainations will work", said Brian, "that rabbit treats that hunk of malformed wood like he would his own child".

Ermintrude sighed, hanging her head.

"Let's face it, I am a dead cow", she said, "oh, the agony, the sheer depravity of it all!"

"See, now we've got her going on one of her drama acts", grumbled Dougal, "Ermintrude, you're BIGGER than Dylan, I doubt he could do you much harm".

"Dylan has mastered almost every martial art known to man!", wailed Ermintrude, "he'd have SOME way to kill me!".

"I doubt Dylan will 'kill' anything", said Brian, trying to reasure her, "I mean..he IS a hippie, after all. Isn't that against their laws?".

"I thought hippies didn't agree with laws", mused Dougal.

"OH WOE, OH WOE!", sobbed Ermintrude, putting a hoof to her head.

"Ermintrude, will you STOP whining?", snapped Dougal, then smirked, "besides, there IS a way out of all this, you know"

Ermintrude paused in her self-pitty display to blink at him.

"There...is?".

"Of course", said Dougal, then grinned, "all you have to do is make a new guitar".

"Make a new guitar?", asked Ermintrude, "...wouldn't he notice?"

"Well...Dylan's guitar WAS a skanky piece of wood", said Brian, "I mean, it looked like he'd stuck it together in his sleep"

"Knowing Dylan, he probably had", muttered Dougal.

"You know...that may just work", said Ermintrude, "now...we need someone with hands to help with the construction".

Everyone turned as one to Florence.

"Oh no, not me", said Florence, stepping away, "I'll have no part in this. Losing Dylan's guitar is bad enough, but LYING to him as well?"

"Come on, Florence", said Dougal, giving her his best puppy face, "won't it be better than Dylan being hurt over his lost guitar? That would be like tearing a piece of his soul away, wouldn't you think it would be better to not let him go through that pain?".

Florence sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She hated the thought of any of her friends being upset.

"You're good", she said to Dougal, "okay, fine, I'll help, but I don't like it".

"Right", said Dougal with a nod, "let's get to work, remember, people, we don't want perfection, the crappier it looks, the better!"

A few hours later and their creation did, indeed, look crappy. Actually, their guitar could have won the crappiest guitar contest on the crappiest day of the year, playing the crappiest song know to man or beast.

"It's perfect!", grinned Ermintrude, looking at the misshapen object, "thank you, everyone, you've saved me, I am eternally gratefull"

"If you're offering rewards, you can give me a packed of bon-bons", said Dougal, before being poked by Florence, "what?"

"We did it to help a friend", said Florence, then smiled, "and to stop Dylan having some sort of breakdown"

"What sort of breakdown?"

Everyone turned around sharply, looking at the rabbit standing behind them.

"How long have you been there?", asked Brian with a nervous laugh.

Dylan blinked confusedly at them.

"I've only just arrived", he arched a brow, "are you guys, like, okay? You're acting all..clenchy".

"We're fine, just fine!", laughed Ermintrude, "not doing anything suspicious, THAT'S for sure!".

"...Okay then", said Dylan, "hey, have you seen Mr R? I, like, gave him my guitar to fix a broken string on it".

Ermintrude blinked.

"Pardon?", she said, "you mean to tell me your guitar has been with Mr Rusty all this time!".

"Err...yeah", said Dylan, "I told you to look after it until he came".

"Wait...if your guitar was with Mr Rusty...what was it that Dougal saw floating down the river?", asked Brian.

"You mean the little boat that Basil made?", asked Dylan, then blinked, "you thought my guitar was floating down the river?"

"NO!", said Ermintrude quickly, "not at all...hahahahaha, that was just a joke, wasn't it Brian?"

Brian glanced over at the bovine, who gave him a glare.

"Yes, Dear, just a joke", he said, "..heh heh".

Dylan shook his head, walking past them.

"You guys need to, like, seek professional help".

"That from the narcoleptic hippie!", Dougal retorted at the rabbit's back as he left, "So...what doi we do with this hunk of crap?"

He gave the guitar a nudge.

"Considering most of us lack fingers, I really doubt we can use it", said Ermintrude.

"Oh, I'LL keep it", sighed Florence, picking it up, "you never know, we might just need it one day".

"Time for bed", said Zebedee, once again appearing from nowhere.

* * *

(1) - I vaugely remember it being stated in one episode that it never rains in the Enchanted Land...even if everything grows just fine without it...it's an odd thing, but there you go.

Weee, that was fun and random, yes? And yes, this was pretty much how the old show ran, actually, I've probably given it a bit more structure. Ahhh, bless the madness. Do review. Until next time...


	2. Sweet like chocolate

Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "The remorse of the sugar junkie"

* * *

Oh yes, more random tales abound! As seen as it's Easter, the holiday of chocolate, I couldn't resist doing a Dougal chapter, he being the sugar-obessed freak he is. Bwahahahaha!

Chapter 2 - Sweet like Chocolate

* * *

Easter-time. No doubt, the chocolate lovers most favorite holiday. A time where the brown, sweet stuff is in abundance, promising sugar rushes and headaches for many hours. Oh yes, chocolate lovers waited all year for this holiday. One certain sugar-loving Maltese Terrier was no exception.

"Sugar! Do de do de do do. Oh yummy yummy", sang Dougal as he trotted along the lane, "it is the caaandy tiiime, can't wait 'till it's all miiine!" (1)

Florence was sitting on her swing, and chuckled to herself as she heard her dog singing happily.

"Hello, Dear Florence", grinned Dougal, pattering over to her, "isn't it a WONDERFULL day?"

"Sure is", said Florence, starting to swing, smiling to herself.

Dougal sat in silence, watching her for a few minutes. Sadly, Dougal was not known for his patience...he was more well known for his lack of it.

"Well?"

"Well what?", asked Florence inocently.

Dougal groaned frustratedly.

"Where's my chocolate?", he asked, "I can't believe I've been sitting here for five minutes already and you haven't given me any chocolate"

"I don't have it", said Florence, then added with a giggle, "the Easter Bunny has it".

Dougal blinked.

"I wasn't born yesterday, you know!", he snapped, then paused, "...where does this rabbit live?"

"I don't know", said Florence, continuing to swing.

Dougal narrowed his eyes.

"Fine, be that way, then", he said, "I'll go find my chocolate myself, but don't think you're getting any!".

With a snort, he walked off, his head in the air. Florence carried on swinging until her was out of sight, then grinned, jumping off her swing and heading in the oposite direction. She finally made it to the large field with served as Ermintrude's home.

"Ermintrude", she called, clambering over the fence.

Why on earth Ermintrude HAD a fence surrounding her field, no one was really all that sure of. She didn't keep herself in, that was for sure, she used the gate to enter and exit as she pleased. And not many people came to visit the field, for fear that she'd start singing at them. Upon hearing Florence's voice, Ermintrude stepped out of her cow shed. It was called a cowshed just becasue a cow happened to live in it and it was shed-shaped. Otherwise, it could have easily been mistaken for a Las Vegas showhouse. Flashy lights included.

"Hello, Dear!", said Erimtrude happily, making her way over, "I trust Dougal is none the wiser?"

"Is he ever?", asked Florence, then smiled, "so, all his chocolate is still hidden away?"

"Of course", said Ermintude, "I don't want to eat the stuff".

She dropped her voice in a low, suspicious voice.

"It's made from milk, you know"

Florence attempted to look shocked.

"It IS?", she asked.

Ermintrude nodded.

"Yes, so I don't eat it out of courtesy", she said, "soemone must stand up for the bovines".

Florence cleared her throat, shuffling her feet, deciding not to comment, luckily, she didn't have to. There was a scuffling sound above them, followed by a squeak. A few moments later, Dylan fell out of the tree he'd been hiding in.

"Oww", said Dylan from where he lay in a heap of oversized feet and big ears on the floor.

"Dylan!", snapped Ermintrude, "what are you doing in MY tree?"

"I WAS sleeping", said Dy;an sitting up, rubbing the back of his head, then squinted, trying to remember, "now...why was I there in the first place?"

"Don't hold your breath, Florence, we may be here for a considerable amount of time", said Ermintrude in a not-very-quiet voice.

"Oh, I remember!", said Dylan, "I was hdiing from Doogie".

Ermintrude arched a brow.

"Why, exactly, were you hiding from Dougal?".

Dylan sighed.

"It's the trippiest thing", he said, "there I was, like, just dozing under my favorite tree, like, when Doogie came up and started shouting about the Easter Rabbit"

"Uh oh", said Florence.

"I told him, like 'I don't know what you're talking about, Dooug, man'", said Dylan, "and then he said, 'Aren't you his cousin?'. I, like, said I wasn't, and he pushed me into a rose bush and, like, said 'I'm watching you, Rabbit', and walked off"

Dylan shook his head.

"Trippy, man"

"Much like listening to you speak", muttered Ermintrude under her breath.

"Dylan", said Florence slowly, knowign it took a while for most things to register with the stoned bunny, "where is Dougal now?"

Dylan shrugged.

"I don't know", he said, "I fell asleep in Ermintrude's tree".

"No way!", said Ermintrude, "YOU DID? WOW! I think I may DIE of shock"

Dylan frowned at her.

"What's that supposed to...", he trailed off, his head slumping forwards as he began to snore.

"You know, I still say we shoudl trade him in for Bugs Bunny", said Emrintrude.

"No, that wouldn't do", said Zebedee, bouncing up, "I quite like Dylan. He doesn't dig the place up as much"

"That's because he's always asleep!", snapped Ermintrude.

"You know, you don't appreciate him as much as you should", smiled Zebedee, "he saved your lives numerous times, if I recall..."

"Okay, okay, I get it!", said Ermintrude.

Zebedee nodded, then looked at Florence.

"Dougal is on his way here", he told her, "he was muttering something about chocolate".

Florence nodded.

"Good, he's just in time, then", she said, "Ermintrude, will you help me get it out?"

Ermintrude gave a dignified sniff.

"I am a LADY", she said, then cleared her throat, "BRIAN!".

"I'm coming, I'm coming!", came a voice withing the shed.

A few moments later, Brian slid out, a rope attached to his shell, which in turn was attached to a small cart, laden with chocolate.

"You people always take advantage of me", grumbled Brian, "I'm not a slave, you know".

"Of course you're not", smiled Ermintrude, "but you wouldn't let me carry them all by myself, WOULD you?"

Brian blinked at her. Despite the fact a cow would be much better at pulling a cart than a snail, he really didn't see it.

"No, no, I wouldn't", he admited.

"WOW!".

Everyone jumped at the loud sound. It even caused Dylan to wake with a start.

"I wasn't sleeping!", he shouted, "I was wide awake!".

Dougal ignored the rabbit as he raced over to the cart at breakneck speed.

"Argggh!", screamed Brian, vanishing into his shell for protection before the dog could mow him over.

"Sweet, sweet CHOCOLATE", shouted Dougal, diving into the pile.

"...You're welcome, Dougal", said Ermintrude sarcastically.

"Hmmm, um?", replied Dougal his mouth full of chocolate

"We thought you deserved a treat", smiled Florence.

Dougal jumped out of the pile sheepishly.

"Err..yeah, thank you", he said, then paused, "hey, wow, easter eggs!".

He dragged out a few more pieces of chocolate, before grinning as he picked out a chocolate bunny.

"This is my chocolate bunny", said Dougal, then gave an evil grin, "I've named him Dylan. Say hello to Dylan, everyone"

The gang blinked once at Dougal, then at the chocolate bunny.

"Hello Dylan!", grinned Ermintrude, then coughed as the real Dylan glared at her, "sorry...I got caught up in the moment"

Dougal pattered around his chocolate bunny.

"First, I'm going to eat his long, bunny ears, then, I'm going to chomp off the rest of the head", the dog whimpered happily, wagging his tail, "and then I'm going to go NUTS and eat the rest WHOLE"

Dylan paled slightly.

"...Did I do something to, like, upset you, Doogie?"

Dougal ignored him, going about mauling the poor chocolate bunny.

"Errr...Zeb?", asked Dylan, trying to ignore the dog.

"Oh yes, sorry", said Zebedee, deciding to put an end to the carnage, "time for bed"

* * *

(1) - Sugar Sugar, by the Archies, heavily changed. This was used in the movie as the jingle for the Roundabout. But I'm sticking to the familiar 'De de da de de' for MY Roundabout. So this song was up for grabs ;D

Yes, that one was a bit mad, wasn't it? Mainly because I wrote it while gorging on my own chocolate. Joy! Do review. Until next time...


	3. April showers

Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Hey, that snail was about to charge!"

* * *

More randomness! Just in time for April Fools Day.

Chapter 3 - April showers.

* * *

"APRIL FOOLS!"

Florence let out a breath. It was the kind of breath one lets out when they are trying not to release a big ball of anger onto a target. She put down the now empty milk carton, and wiped the white liquid off her face. Dougal grinned happily from his place on the floor.

"The old exploding milk carton trick", chuckled the dog, "I can't believe you fell for that one"

"Me either", muttered Florence, "April Fools Day already? Mmm, holidays do come quickly when you try to avoid them, don't they?"

"YEP!", grinned Dougal, "no hard feelings, Florence?"

Florence gave a forced grin.

"None at all, Dougal", she said, "I don't mind reeking of milk for a week, really, I don't"

Dougal, not used to Florence using sarcasm, smiled and nodded.

"Great!", he said, then pattered to the door, "right, now I've got to get everyone else"

"Lucky them", muttered Florence, then sighed, shaking her head, "I don't know how Dougal manages to stay sarcastic all the time, it makes me feel lousy"

* * *

Unknowing of the fate that was to befall them, the other residents of the Enchanted Land were blissfully going about their buisness. Brian was humming happily to himself as he slid along. It had been a good morning so far, he'd got some DIY done in his shell, and now he was going to see the love of his life. He stopped dead, however, when Dougal lept out from behind a tree.

"Oh my God, Brian, LOOK OUT!".

"What? What?", asked Brian, looking in every direction, "what is it?"

"Salt attack!", shouted Dougal, then tugged at a rope, emptying the white contents of a bag onto the mollusc.

"HELP!", screamed Brian, "it burns...IT BUUUUUURRRNNNNS!. It..."

He paused, blinking.

"...This isn't salt"

"APRIL FOOLS!", shouted Dougal joyfully, before tottering off.

Brian watched him go, then gave the 'salt' a sniff.

"...How unlike Dougal to waste sugar", he mused, "maybe he's sick"

* * *

"La la la la, la la LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Dougal winced as he neared Ermintrude's shed. Maybe, maybe just one day, she'd decide NOT to sing. That would be a blissfull day for all involved, no doubt. He loitered in the door for a few moments, until the bovine noticed him.

"Heloooooo Doooouuuugaaallllll", she sang.

"Yes, that's great", winced Dougal, then gave her a sweet smile, "I just heard some GREAT news, Ermintrude"

"Oh?", asked Ermintrude, smoothing out her hat.

"Yes", said Dougal, "I heard, strictly on the grapevine, mind you, that some big opera tallent scout was staying in the village"

"An opera tallent scout?", asked Ermintrude, her face lighting up.

"Yep", said Dougal with a nod, "apparently, he's looking for someone to star in his latest piece"

"Oh...oh joy!", said Ermintrude happily, "finally, my chance to shine. A chance for my true tallent to be discovered!"

"I think he's leaving today", said Dougal, then added with an evil grin, "you might catch him...if you're quick"

"Of course!", said Ermintrude, hurriedly running out of her shed, "thank you, Dougal, I shall remember you when I'm rich and famous!"

"Sure you will, Ermintrude, sure you will", chuckled Dougal, moving onto his next victim.

* * *

It didn't take Dougal long to reach Dylan's warren, or rather, one of the holes he assumed belonged to Dylan, as most of the residents didn't 'do' underground, the lapine was left in relative peace...But not today. (1)

Dougal cleared his throat, leaning down the mouth of the hole. And then he began to sing.

"Bright eyes, Burning like fire, Bright eyes, How can you close and faiiiiiil?" (2)

He paused, allowing his voice to echo through the warren. A few moments later, when he assumed the sound had reached Dylan, he heard a squeal of terror. A few moments later, Dylan dashed out of another hole.

"Not the song, NOT THE SONG!", he shouted, "There's a dog loose in the woods!"

Dougal watched, amused, as Dylan ran in a panicked cricle before racing off in the direction of the Village..

"Poor bunny-wunny", chuckled Dougal, "it gets him EVERY time"

With that, he headed off in the general direction of the village, humming happily to himself.

When he got there, Ermintrude was pacing irritably by the Roundabout. Mr Rusty was leaning on the controls, watching her in the quiet way he had.

"I can't believe that lying, cheating...MONGREL!".

Dougal had to bite his tounge to avoid shouting out that he was NOT a mongrel, but a pure-bred Maltese Terrier, thank-you-very-much.

"He does it every year", pointed out Mr Rusty calmly, "I'd have thought you'd be used to it by now".

Brian slid up sugar still piled onto the top of his shell.

"Is this the 'rant about Dougal' line?", he asked, "because I don't thin near-death experiences are all that funny"

"Tell me about it", saod Florence, hopping off the Roundabout and walking over, "just look at Dylan"

They turned to the rabbit, who was curled up in a little ball, rocking back and forth.

"Bad bunny song, bad bunny song", he chanted repeatedly.

Florence sighed, patting Dylan on the head.

"It'll take him weeks to get over this", she said, "you know how he feels about that film"

"Oh you guys just can't take a joke, can you?", said Dougal as he pattered over to them.

"I'll joke YOU a minute!", snapped Ermintrude, raising a hoof, "keep still, and I'll show you a GREAT joke, It's called 'Whack the Dog'".

Zebedee sprung into the middle of them before and all out war could break out.

"Now now, lets not resort to violence", he said, "it solves nothing"

"Says you!", snapped Ermintrude.

Zebedee smiled sweetly.

"It wouldn't be fair to treat him so harshly", he said, "especially since the candy seller has fallen ill, and his store will be closed for a week"

Dougal's face fell.

"No sugar?", he whimpered, then let out a scream, running off in the direction of the candy store, "NO SUGAR!"

Florence glanced at Zebedee.

"It's nothing serious is it?"

"No", said Zebedee, "I just gave him a holiday. I thought you might want Dougal to have some...discomfort at this time of the year"

The group blinked at him.

"Did I ever mention how much we all adore you?", asked Ermintrude.

"Probably", replied Zebedee, "time for bed"

* * *

(1) - Okay, I'm not sure if Dylan ACTUALLY lives in a warren. I don't recall it ever being shown, but my memories of the show are vauge to say the least. I know he slept alot by a blue tree, but as he's a rabbit, I shall assume he lives in a warren. So there.

(2) - Bright Eyes, by Art Garfunkel. Famously sang in the movie adaptation of Watership Down. It is my belief that this movie must be the rabbit equivalent of a really, really bloody slasher movie. Count the rabbits that die bloody and violent deaths, really, it's frightening. Especially that dog bit at the end.

And another chapter done and dusted. Weeee! Do review. Until next time...


	4. OperaMOOtics

Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Oh, the flesh will be tearing at the opera house tonight"

Chapter 4 - OperaMOOtics

&&&&&

It was another delightfull day in the Enchanted Land, the sun was shining, as always, and everyone was at peace. Basil, Coral and Florence were riding on the Roundabout, Dylan was sleeping where someone had thoughtfully propped him up against a tree, Brian was preforming minor D.I.Y tasks in his shell, and Dougal was counting his sugar cubes.

"Soon, I'll have enough for a sugar fortress", he said gleefully, "lets see them laugh at me then!"

"Delightfull news, Darlings!", said Ermintrude happily as she trotted up, carrying a poster on her back..

"Excuse me!", sniffed Dougal, "I was talking before you. You can't just come barging into a conversation, you know!"

"But this is important!", protested Ermintrude, "more important than any of your stupid sugar-talk, THAT much is certain!"

"Shut up, Cow", said Dougal, "sugar is important, and I'LL be doing the talking, so shut your pie-hole!"

"Dougal!", snapped Ermintrude.

"MacDonalds", sang Dougal loudly, "B-urg-er- Kiiing. Steak house! Yummy yum"

Ermintrude narrowed her eyes, before clonking Dougal on the head with one of her hooves.

"You win this time", muttered Dougal darkly, backing away before she could hit him again.

Ermintrude smiled sweetly at the dog, before turning to everyone else.

"Wonderfull news", she said, tossing her poster into the crowd, "guess who JUST got invited to preform in the DalViche'areo opera concert?"

"...Is that a trick question?", asked Dougal.

Ermintrude gave him a glare, before smiling.

"ME!", she said, "they have asked ME to be one of their acts, isn't this marvelous!"

"Marvelous", grinned Brian happily, while the others blinked numbly.

"...They HAVE heard you sing, right?", asked Mr Rusty, arching a brow.

"They don't NEED to", said Ermintrude, "tallented people like that don't ned proof of vocal tallent. They can just tell"

She bounced happily.

"Can you believe it!", squeaked Ermintrude happily, "this means I will get to compete against those of a musical background as much as I. I shall get to mingle with people of my own class for once, instead of my inferiors"

"...That was like a great big hug, Ermintrude", said Brian dryly.

"It says here", said Basil, reading the paper, "that you need your own orchestra"

"Orchestra!", snorted Dougal, "the only orchestra you've got Ermintrude is Dylan!"

Ermintrude blinked, taking this in.

"Well, I will just have to make do!", she said, "the competition is for my lovely voice, not for my musical accompaniment"

Dylan's ear cocked slightly from where he'd been dozing.

"Whazat?"

Dougal grinned.

"Oh, let me tell him, PLEASE?", he said, walking over to the rabbit, "guess what, Ermintrude gets to go sing in an opera concert!"

"Good for her", murmered Dylan sleepily, "like, rock on, Ermie"

"And you have to play your guitar for her while she sings", said Dougal, glancing at the poster, "for a whole week...won't that be_ fun_?"

THAT woke Dylan up.

"Aww, no, Dooug, man, you're kidding me!", he squeaked, "that's, like, curelty to rabbits! Someone should call the RSPCA!"

"I am standing RIGHT here", snapped Ermintrude, "and I can hear every word"

"Perhaps things will work out well", said Zebedee, appearing from nowhere, "remember, a friend in need is a friend indee..."

Dylan grabbed the front of Zebedee's shirt desperately.

"You're not listening to me, man!", he said, his ears dropped back on his head, "I can't deal with a WEEK of Ermintrude and her singing. I am but ONE rabbit!"

"Dylan", chuckled Florence, "take a breath, everything will be fine"

"Easy for you to say", Dylan retorted, "you don't have to go"

"My singing is not that bad!", cried Ermintrude, "oh, not even my BAND appreciates me!"

"I appreciate you, Ermintrude", said Brain with a smile.

"That's all well and good", said Ermintrude, "but you can't play any instruments, can you? YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY HANDS!"

Brian considered this.

"I can play the triangle with my teeth if someone holds it up for me"

"Oh, FORGET it!", huffed Ermintrude, "Dylan, you are coming if you like it or not. That's all there is to it!"

Dylan opened Dougal's mouth, putting his head in it.

"Like, do me a favour", he said, "and just eat me now"

"I'm not going to eat you!", snorted Dougal, backing away, "I know the places you go"

"A dog that doesn't want to kill a rabbit is an odd dog indeed", said Coral.

"I'm not odd!", snapped Dougal, "I'm just kind hearted"

"You are a Maltese Terrier!", pointed out Basil, "terriers were BRED to kill rabbits!"

"If I didn't know better", pointed out Dylan, "I'd swear you kids wanted to do me in"

"Can we stop talking about Dougal's inability to do anything remotely dog-like and focus on ME?", said Ermintrude, "I have no music to accompany my singing if Dylan doesn't come along!"

"Oh, for the pitty's sake!", snapped Zebedee, "Dylan, just play at Ermintrudes concert"

"But...", started Dylan.

"Time for bed!", said Zebedee, firmly.

"But..."

"I SAID, TIME FOR BED!"

&&&

Oh the randomness of it all! I always wnated Zeb to lose it when it came to his catchphrase. Zebedee's word is LAW, people.


End file.
